commitment phobe.

The blog I so excitedly jumped into and, I'll say, had some pretty profound thoughts in was sadly tossed aside. I'm sorry if any of you were reading along and I cut you off. I think I have a commitment phobia to journals, etc. Fo' real... I can't keep one going. So, here is blog 2.0. I've left the old posts up because, well I like reading them, so feel free to reread or just disregard.

What's going on in my life?

Well readers, funny you should ask. In the event you have been in a space ship headed to mars and JUST returned, the girl that left you blogging about how her and her boyfriend met is now learning what it is to have a fiance and in the beginning stages of a lovely thing called wedding planning.
While it has it ups and downs I have received some good advice in some random places:
1. A friend and former instructor I TA'd for gave me a piece of very practical advice that has really stuck: "Don't let the planning cause you to forget what this is really a celebration of." Thanks Rachel!
2. Oddly enough, Sex and the City Movie previews gave me the same wonderful advise. Carrie looks at someone and says, "I let the wedding get bigger than Big." Now, I am not a SATC watcher... but I really enjoyed this little morsal of advice.
3. There was a sticker I saw the other day that said, "God wrote your love story... let Him read it to you." Aw. It was just a wonderful reminder as I leaf through the upteenth wedding magazine that I needed to just chill out and reflect on the wonderful gift that this is and that my Father in Heaven has put in my life and blessed me with.
4. Finally, my friend Angie gave me a wonderful thing to cling to as well. When looking at my ring she said, "Isn't is wonderful how something so simple means so much?"

All these little things have come at me from various places recently and have just been such a good reminder of what I'm really planning. It's really difficult in the midst of a guest list to remember WHO formed and fashioned this relationship and has so carefully directed the path Josh and I are on. I have to continually remind myself that this is not even only a celebration of the love Josh and I share like Rachel said, but a celebration of the Heavenly Father who wrote this whole story! A Father who loved us both and created us in order to perfectly counter the other in a way only He could. In the end, it's not really about the flowers or the photographer or the exact color of the table cloths, but about a guy who got down on his knee and asked me to be beside him for the rest of his life. Fellow Brides-to-be out there, listen up! We have to get past all of this glitz and glamour of the wedding industry because all that fluff we look at is just that. All that is boils down to the same reason we all feel like we need the newest, nicest thing. No, you do NOT need the photobooth. You do not NEED that 6 foot chocolate fountain that changes colors. Don't let jealously of that girls custom wedding dress and 37,000 orchid display or the greediness of having to have the NICEST whatever get in the way. What we NEED to be doing is seeking our Lord even more for His will and His guidance. We need to be seeking out older, godlier women who can come along side us and let us learn from their ups and downs. We should be focusing on what being a wife means. Proverbs 31 is great to read. It gives a wonderful list starting in verses 10-31 of who we are called to be as wives. Finally, someone told Josh and I a great piece of advice I want to finish with. They said, God loves marriage and what it means for the couple. If this is the case, Satan HATES it. So, just as every new stage in our walk with God brings a harder spiritual battle, an engagement will do the same thing. It's our job to watch for this and be aware, seeking the Lord more than before and constantly evaluating our actions. We need to be diligent and careful not to allow our minds to be clouded but always seeking Him and His will.

Whew. That was much needed to sort all that out. Sorry if I lost you in there, but I've been needing to get that one out. Thanks to anyone who's reading this, until later, have a wonder-full day.